I like what you said. I’ve already wrote things about that. So I decided to offer you my opinion.
Firstly I think that everything without exception can be interesting. Happiness is as interesting as sadness. And a “good” text is as interesting as a “bad” text. My way to enjoy life is to learn to find the interesting and to extract the sensations/emotions in everything. The question is: are you able to find something that you can enjoy in a stupid answer criticizing your text. Personally I can. Because I like being misunderstood, disliked and then being very sad and feel depressed and totally insane. I’m a collector, a chemist who like to experiment with feelings. But as you said I can hardly command dopamine to my brain, so I simply try to find an equivalent in “dark” feelings. I don’t say positive psychological rewards are bad, I just say they’re easy to enjoy and it’s why people like them. The most important is to vary. For not being tired of some colours and for discover others. For not being limited. For not becoming blind. For not being a puppet of your own lazy mind.
After you speak about another thing: tastes. What I’ve said before doesn’t mean that you have to find positive feelings everywhere. I’ve said it’s possible to find interesting feelings in everything. Your tastes are simply what give you directly positive feels. So it’s the easier way to feed you with sensations/emotions. You can’t really influence your taste. They are pulses that make you different of someone else. They emerged for you childhood and lot of unconscious concepts. Some people repress them, and try to change them for some stupid often social reasons or change them with something they can at least justify. After they feel totally unbalanced because their minds are full of repressed pulses. My aim is to take advantage of my tastes but certainly not to reduct what I find interesting to them. Trying to falsify them is the worst. I’m at the stage when I can enjoy to be sad because nobody have the same tastes than me and also being able to like things in their tastes. You know with all my masks.
So posting or not your text is simply a question of what you can find in posting it. Or in not posting it. And not a question if others find this good or not. This is their tastes. And their feels. Not yours. And I’m sure they don’t care if you posts it or not. But I have to sai you posted it in a very good and particular and interesting way. Like you was already knowing all of that. Anyways I hope you will find a way to enjoy what I’ve said. Even if you disagree with everything.
Friendly, a devoted megalomaniac dreamer.
